Winter

The air outside is stale,
I can see it through the window.
The sun is shining but it’s very deceiving.

Winter is here and I’m not ready.

It’s probably the coldest winter I’ve experienced in Johannesburg since I moved here 10 years ago.
You probably thinking I must be insane, no way it’s the coldest but let me break it down for you.
5 years of my life here I was in university and every holiday, I would go home to sunny Maputo. They don’t know what winter is there, the coldest it has been is probably 10 Celsius.
The other 5 years I was a in relationship and working, so I’ve always had someone.

This year, I’m single, alone and cold.
And I can’t help but notice how everyone becomes a little cold during this season. And no! I don’t mean actual cold but like cold hearted, distant and disconnected.
Or maybe I’m seeing this or noticing this as it’s a reflection of how I feel with the world…

Winter is here and I’m feeling cold.
Just like how the air is stale, I feel stale just moving about day by day and not knowing when I’ll hit the ground.
The sun is out like the light inside me but it’s deceiving because I don’t feel it at times, it shines so low I need to go knocking down doors to find it.

I hate winter, it’s a horrible season.
Fuck! the movies that show it to be being a romantic time but to be honest, it’s a cold time.
Everyone is cold and the sun is still shining. Just like me.