Awkward moments
Long silences
Afraid to say the wrong thing.
A storm brewing in my stomach
Nerves
Worried
About the future
Did I make the right decision?
Is this what I want to do?
Is this where I want to be?
No Family
Close
No friends
Close
Just me
New faces
New me?
They say it’s just a number
But
It feels like a lot more
I feel
Not enough
Not women enough
Not worthy
Of this
Of her
Of you
Of love.
Maybe I should be
More feminine
More make up
Hair done
More effort
That’s what they like,
Right?
Curves
My body
Me?
But not the real me
The pretty me
The one you can lay with tonight
And forget tomorrow.
He finds me
In places I didn’t think possible
He works so passionately
Slowly
But not too slow
Ecstasy rising
He made me
Touch heaven
I felt it
Deep inside
It was sweet
Not like honey
Heavenly
Better.
The feeling of multiple orgasms.
I cum to my senses.
The reality of 30
3 decades of
Not feeling enough.
Hoping the rest of the years
Will be years of self discovery.
Love
And being wholeheartedly
Unashamed
Unapologetic
Me
Wherever she is.
Lotus 