A cloudy mind, full of worry, stress and pain.
There are moments of sunshine, brief but they exist.
It sometimes rains, mostly at night like those short summer rains or sometimes, lately, it’s the never ending thunderous rain that carries on until the morn.
Then the air is still humid and dry from the storm, the sun is shining but not to it’s full potential and there’s always clouds of the coming storm, again.
I need to leave this place
Everything reminds me of you
My friends, sorry I meant our friends.
It all just reminds of me of our love,
Us together.
Now that we not together, it doesn’t make sense to be around.
We built so much in those 5 years and now to break that.
It’s hard…
I know I left but it still hurts
I can’t just erase us from my memory
Wish I could
Wish I could just remove you from heart
I just can’t
I now fully understand that I will forever love you
I need to leave this place
Not only to escape everything that reminds me of you
But to escape the memories we had
And shared
I don’t even know how I got the strength to leave
It’s crippling me thinking about this
I need to escape everything
I’m stronger than I look
Stronger than what I thought
Cause walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
I walked out on us
And now I’m building a better me
One day I will find that escape
And when I do
My words will be different
The tone will change
My heart will be softer
I will be weaker but there’s strength in weakness
I will learn to love you less
Each and everyday
I need to
Lotus 