Escape

I need to escape my brain

I need to get away from my thoughts.

These constant arguments I have with myself

For people

For me.

I am tired.

I can’t keep fighting myself.

I need to get out of my head.


I need to escape

Escape

Escape

I need to get away from my thoughts.


You loved me, you told me.

You said you wanted to be with me.

You are in love with me.

I fell for you and you fell in love with me.

This is our story.

It’s not real.

It’s not real

It’s not here.

You are not here.

You don’t exist.

You are not real.


I need to escape

Escape 

Escape

I need to get away from my thoughts.


What do you mean you don’t love me anymore?

I knew you would do this!

You are just like my father.

I knew you would leave me.

You never loved me.

You just wanted to lay in bed with me.

You just wanted a warm body next to you.

You are like all the other men.

You don’t care

You never cared.

You are not real.

This is not real.

The pain feels real.


I need to escape 

Escape

Escape

I need to get away from my thoughts.


Why did he leave?

Why did he not fight enough for me?

Am I not enough?

Is my love not worthy of your love?

Father,

Tell me.

Father,

Hear my cries.

Mother,

Why did you hit me?

What did I do wrong this time?

Why am I carrying you blood in my hands.

Mother, mother!!

Save me!!

Don’t shout at me

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m not perfect.

I am trying.


I need to escape

Escape 

Escape 

I need to get away from my thoughts.


Was this all a dream?

Was I dreaming?

Did he love me?

Did she care?

The pain is real.

These are memories

Amalgamated into fantasies

Of love

Security

Reassurance.

One day,

I’ll find it in the real world

But right now.


I need to escape

Escape 

Escape 

I need to get away from my thoughts.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s